Ho Ho No
Sarcastic Holiday Cards for Mechanics, Dads, Handymen (5-Pack)
$26.99
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DetailsNo glitter. No cheer. Just the unvarnished holiday truth.
Leave the whimsical snowmen and forced holiday cheer to someone else. The Perry Acres Supply Co. Christmas Unfortunately Card Pack is built for the dad, mechanic, carpenter, or tradesman who spends the season detangling lights, yelling at assembly diagrams, and protecting his garage workbench from festive intruders.
Featuring Jimmy rendered in gritty, vintage woodcut engraving style, these cards say what every working man is actually thinking between Thanksgiving and New Year's Day.
The 5-Card Lineup:
-The Light Struggle:
Front: "I Said I’d Fix The Lights. I Didn’t Say When."
Inside: "The bad bulb won. The tote is in the garage, and the garage is a different work order. I’ll get to it when the plug stops looking at me."
-The Inspection:
Front: "Nice List? We’ll See About That."
Inside: "I don’t check chimneys. I check who showed up, who left a mess, and who borrowed a tool without asking. You’ve got some explaining, and it better be short."
-The Workshop Boundary:
Front: "Santa, I Don’t Need Your Help."
Inside: "I need the right part and a clear bench. Cookies I’ll allow. Advice I will not. The hat can stay on the vise until January."
-The Christmas Eve Build:
Front: "Some Assembly Required. Some Swearing Guaranteed."
Inside: "One bolt, three washers, and the will to keep my voice down. The diagram was drawn by someone who has never held a tool."
-The Fragile Victory:Front:
"Christmas Miracle. Nothing Broke."
Inside: "Don’t touch it. Don’t look at it too long. We are not testing this twice. If it is still standing at dinner, that is the gift."
Product Specifications:
-Quantity: Set of 5 unique designs with matching blank envelopes
-Size: Standard folded A2 card (4.25" × 5.5")
-Paper Stock: Heavyweight, premium matte cardstock with rich charcoal dark navy background and sharp vintage line art
-Interior: Includes printed sarcastic field-note commentary on the right, with lined blank space on the left to write your own note (or just sign your name and walk away)
-Back: Finished with authentic Perry Acres Supply Co. industrial branding
Ideal For: Tradesmen, diesel mechanics, fabricators, and carpenters Husbands and dads who retreat to the workshop during holiday gatherings Anyone tired of sappy, generic department store greeting card -
Shipping & Policies
Shipping from United States
Processing time
3-5 business days
Customs and import taxes
Buyers are responsible for any customs and import taxes that may apply. I'm not responsible for delays due to customs.
Payment Options
Returns & Exchanges
Returns & exchanges not accepted
But please contact me if you have problems with your order
I gladly accept cancellations
Request a cancellation within: 1 hours of purchase
Privacy policy
1. Personal Information I Collect
To fulfill your order, you must provide me with certain information (which you authorized Etsy to provide to me), such as your name, email address, postal address, payment information, and the details of the product that you’re ordering.
2. Why I Need Your Information and How I Use It
I rely on a number of legal bases to collect, use, and share your information, including:
As needed to provide my services, such as when I use your information to fulfill your order, to settle disputes, or to provide customer support.
If necessary to comply with a legal obligation or court order or in connection with a legal claim, such as retaining information about your purchases if required by tax law.
3. Information Sharing and Disclosure
Information about my customers is important to my business. I share your personal information for very limited reasons and in limited circumstances, as follows:
Etsy: I share information with Etsy as necessary to provide you my services and comply with my obligations under both the Etsy Seller Policy and Etsy Terms of Use.
Service Providers / Production Partners: I engage certain trusted third parties to perform functions and provide services to my shop—specifically my print-on-demand manufacturing and fulfillment partners. I will share your personal information (name and delivery address) with these partners, but only to the extent necessary to create and ship your order.
4. Data Retention
I retain your personal information only for as long as necessary to provide you with my services and as described in my Privacy Policy. However, I may also be required to retain this information to comply with my legal and regulatory obligations, to resolve disputes, and to enforce my agreements. I generally keep your data for the following time period: 4 years.
5. Contact Me
For purposes of EU data protection law, I, the shop owner, am the data controller of your personal information. If you have any questions or concerns, you may contact me through Etsy conversations.Frequently Asked Questions
Why is Jimmy taking 3 to 5 days to ship my gear?
Because good craftsmanship takes a minute, and rushing Jimmy while he's holding a handsaw is a safety hazard. Every shirt and sticker is custom printed to order. We promise it’s worth the wait, but if you start pacing by the mailbox, just remember the labor rate matrix goes up if you start checking the tracking status every five minutes.
Why did my shirt and sticker arrive separately?
To get you the highest quality gear, our t-shirts and vinyl stickers are printed using specialized equipment that occasionally ships from different fulfillment centers. Don't worry if one part of your order arrives a day or two before the other—tracking numbers are provided for both packages!
Can I change or cancel my order?
To keep shipping fast, our system sends orders directly to our production partner almost immediately. We accept cancellations or order modifications strictly within 1 hour of purchase. After 1 hour, we cannot stop the printing process or offer a refund.
What is your return policy?
Because every single item is custom printed specifically for you when you order, all sales are final. We cannot accept returns or exchanges for incorrect size selection, color preferences, or buyer's remorse. Please double-check our size charts carefully before completing your purchase!
What if my item arrives damaged or misprinted?
If your gear arrives with a printing defect, graphic error, or transit damage, we will absolutely make it right. Please send us a message within 14 days of delivery with a clear photo of the issue, and we will send out a free replacement reprint immediately.
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